The Hobart Mercury 19/12/09

We’ve all heard about the monster turkeys being served up for Christmas in Tasmania this year, but spare a thought for the premier. The poor bastard’s got a whole freezer full that he needs us to choke down and hope the food poisoning doesn’t kick in before next March.

Perhaps the Miracle Of Christmas will kick in and everything will be fine, but Santa knows whether you’ve been good or bad no matter how much you pay your public relations department, so if I were you I’d be politely declining a slice of David’s Turkey this festive season.