Spreadsheets will make your head explode

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The Australian, 25 November 2010

The NBN is a cracking idea and if it ever gets built, in no time people will be wondering how the hell we ever managed without it. However, I’m not sure the government is really entering into the spirit of our dawning Information Age. When you’re spending 40-odd billion dollars replacing the gigantic monopoly that is Telstra with an even more gigantic monopoly that will be the NBN, it is not unreasonable to expect a fair bit of scrutiny of exactly how you’re going about it, simply on the grounds that getting the details right before you start breaking out the yellow helmets and fluoro vests is much less expensive than doing it afterwards.

Let’s face it, they’re all on the naughty list anyway.

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The Sunday Telegraph, 21 November 2010

In a wildly optimistic moment, Premier Keneally has told her cabinet to keep their clothes on and behave themselves at office Christmas parties this year. She then went on to instruct ministers to ensure media advisers and chiefs-of-staff did not post inappropriate comments or photographs on Facebook or Twitter.

Now while I’ve never had any experience being a state premier myself, telling members of the NSW Labor party to behave themselves and not post the evidence on social media sites strikes me as being somewhat like pulling on a pair of bright red trakkie dacks and waving one’s backside in the direction of an enraged bull.

Eat, drink, be merry and share it all on Facebook I reckon, you might as well enjoy the last few days of Rome.

The Republican Commemorative Bucket

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The Hobart Mercury, 20 November 2010

My theory on the monarchy in Australia is that everyone thinks that there are people who want Australia to be a monarchy, but in fact nobody actually does want Australia to be a monarchy. I base this on the premise that it is inconceivable that anyone could actually want Australia to be a monarchy. Eventually we’ll realise that it was all just a few people taking the piss, and immediately become a republic.

If people think that this is ruining all the monarchists’ fun, then bear in mind that I do not concede that any monarchists exist.

It is quite a poor theory I’ll admit (the bucket helps a bit) but if you don’t like it, feel free to stick your head in a bucket.

Grit your teeth and think of England

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The Australian, 18 November 2010

In my theoretical filing cabinet (I do in fact own a filing cabinet, though I struggle with the filing part) I file “royalty” right next to “religion” in that I don’t really mind if people hold a self-evidently irrational belief in a superior being (or beings if that’s their thing) as long as they don’t go on and on about it. Sadly the not going on and on about it part may be in scant supply over the next nine or so months.