The Australian 4 May 2011

…or something to that effect.

The US government’s given the conspiracy mill a bloody good start by providing a choice of he was armed/he was unarmed/he looked at me funny/used his wife as a human shield/okay maybe he didn’t use his wife as a human shield options, not to mention playing the burial at sea card which was frankly top-notch stuff.

It’s hardly their fault, nobody was going to believe what they said anyway, so good on them for keeping it relatively simple.

My recommendation is to get the internet put on in your bunker, believe the six truthiest impossible things that occur to you before breakfast and get to work sharing them with the rest of the world. If you need me, I’ll be out back digging myself a media room.

The Australian 3 May 2011

It’s hard to know what to think about the Yanks knocking off Osama yesterday. The guy no doubt had it coming, but after seeing pictures of mass celebrations of the event I get the feeling that the cycle of violence just rolls on and on regardless.

First world moralising and latte-sipping relativism aside, if there is some sort of afterlife there could surely be no more fitting result than an eternity spent trying to get through ridiculously stringent security procedures at the gates of Paradise. Or if eternity is a bit over the top, then maybe 100 years for every time somebody has had to take their bloody shoes off to get into an airport should do it.