The Hobart Mercury 19 April 2011

Sorry, but if the best dirt the pokies dirt unit can come up with is some bloke saying Wilkie forced him to do a Nazi salute at the ADFA 30 years ago, then they’re not really earning their shovels.

Now don’t get me wrong, Nazis were evil bastards, even more evil than pokies, and being a complete arsehole at Duntroon (while apparently quite the done thing) is not cool, but come on guys, surely he was selling swastika throw rugs at the carpet shop or doing unspeakable things to kittens or something. Do your jobs. Dig dig.

The Hobart Mercury 16 April 2011

Sure, nobody wants to go to Brighton unless they absolutely need to, but surely forty-odd thousand years of history is worth a couple of extra minutes on the drive to Launceston.

The Hobart Mercury 5 April 2011

The latest plan is for Big Tobacco to have little calls to arms to smokers tucked inside the plain packaging with pictures of rotting body parts and a warning that you will get cancer on it that’s kept behind the counter out of sight containing smoking death sticks that you have to go out on to the street to smoke while passers-by glare at you with hatred and contempt.

Let’s face it, these people are probably pretty much impervious to arguments to the contrary anyway.

The Hobart Mercury 23 March 2011

I’m not entirely sure what pulp mill everyone thought they were talking about up to this point, but Tasmania’s forest, er, peace talks have peacefully segued from vague mentions of “a” nice, friendly, peaceful pulp mill to “the” pulp mill. Remember that one?

Anyway it seems to boil down to “hand over the social licence or the trees get it”. Good luck with that, everybody.