(Offer only available in certain specially selected electorates.)

Hey, my first Bob Katter! Great head, wacky guy, his mouth opens and stuff happens. Hope he ends up as Speaker.

It’s safe to say that neither  of our aspiring leaders has exactly captured the public’s imagination in the last few weeks, and as the entire campaign has been all about our aspiring leaders, this probably explains why the result is so hard to pick. We get the government we deserve, so whichever side wins today, let’s consider all our sins paid in full and vow to try harder next time.

Happy Election Day and cheer up, whoever wins might not see out a full term anyway.

Just in case anyone hadn’t been keeping up, the new word for “pork barrelling” is “sandbagging”. Of course, it amounts to the same thing, but I guess may be lower in cholesterol. This cartoon features Julia, but of course the other side do it just as shamelessly, mainly because it works.

Anyway, if you’re living in a marginal electorate, expect lots of lovely pressies over the next few days and if you don’t, well, stiff cheese.

Apparently the guys in the expensive suits reckon the election campaign’s been a bit light on for tax reform so far, the gist being that they’d quite like to pay less of it.

Fair enough, there’s nothing like a bit of tax reform to capture the public’s imagination, but if tax reform thinks it’s been a bit dudded for detailed policy attention in the past few weeks then it can bloody well take a number and join the queue like pretty much everything else. It’s also possible that Kevin’s head stuffed and mounted on the wall of the Mining Billionaires’ Club has put Julia and Tony off a little bit.

There was also a bit of suspiciously WorkChoicey talk (between puffs of cigar smoke) that a touch more flexibility in Industrial Relations wouldn’t go astray. Bizarrely that too hasn’t had a big run so far, though John Howard’s head on a spike outside ACTU headquarters may provide a clue. Oh well, there are still a few days to go….

You’re watching The Expendables at Warringah Mall and during a really emotional bit someone’s bloody phone goes off (the ringtone’s probably Ride Of The Valkyries).

“Hello? Uh – a boat? Fair – er – dinkum?……Well how should – uhhh – I know? I’m not – errrr – really a -uh -boathead…. What -er – uh – do you reckon?…..Splice the – errrrr – mainjib?”

Tony has decided to personally apply his vast nautical knowledge and experience to the vexed question of whether Turning The Boats Around will play well in Western Sydney at whatever point it is in the daily news cycle. Whenever there’s a life and death decision to be made out on the ocean wave, get Tony on the blower.

No doubt later today Julia will counter with a proposal to set up a call centre in East Timor to handle the situation. Personally I favour a live-action reality TV program like So You Think You Can Turn The Boats Around. Now that’s democratainment.