The Australian, 15 December 2010

Remember way back in the halcyon first weeks of her reign when Julia sorted out the mining billionaires who are not quite as convinced about the inevitability of taxes as Mark Twain (or in fact any other non-billionaires)?

Well, it looks like somebody forgot to specify exactly what the word “all” means in relation to state mining royalties which has made things a bit awkward, and we all know how laid back state governments are when it comes to getting their cut of the profits. One suspects it will (inevitably) be the non-billionaire taxpayers who’ll be picking up the tab.

The Australian, 14 December 2010

In case you didn’t know, banks don’t give a stuff about anything but money.

Sure, people who work in banks can be quite nice, but the rules are made by banks, not people, and banks are there to make money out of money. Nothing personal, it’s what they do.

Okay, CEOs make the rules for the banks, but people who make more money during a toilet break than you do in a whole week (and they’ve got servants to do the wiping for them) do not care about anything but money or they’d simply buy an island and retire, because as soon as they stop caring about money they’d no longer be able to do their job, which is to run a bank which cares about nothing but money, and in the long run that’s probably a good thing.

Rich bastards.

The Australian, 13 December 2010

The UN is apparently very pleased that everyone has acknowledged that we really ought to get around to sorting out the whole global environmental catastrophe thing sometime soon. However, it does seem disturbingly reminiscent of a New Year’s resolution to lose weight without any intention of eating less or doing any exercise. Never mind, there’s always next year. Probably.

The Australian, December 10 2010

On behalf of the United States, the Australian government is getting tough on the guy who leaked the stuff about Arbib leaking stuff to the United States because leaking stuff from the United States about leaking stuff to the United States is bad, whereas just leaking stuff to the United States is okay because that happens all the time. No wonder this stuff is usually kept secret.

The Australian 6 December 2010

The title of this blog post isn’t really relevant, but I was dying to work it into a caption when Kevin was running the joint.

Kev’s back in the news with the startling disclosure that the USA is a bit worried about China taking over the place and the less surprising revelation that Kevin had the whole thing sorted until Julia brutally stabbed him in the back, condemning the planet to Chinese totalitarian rule shortly before we all die of climate change, which Kevin also would have fixed but for That Meddling Woman.

Anyway, to the apocalypse at hand: wikileaks, huh? What’s going on there? The bottom line is that politics is based on the assumption that a majority of people are dangerous lunatics who can’t be trusted with anything sharp and the rest are complete idiots who can’t be trusted with anything sharp, hence the quite accurate principle that what people don’t know probably won’t hurt them and definitely won’t hurt us.

This is why governments are extremely keen that the dangerous lunatics/idiots outside the tent are kept in the dark about what the slightly better informed dangerous lunatics/idiots inside are up to (which mainly involves drinking cocktails and trying to look like you know what’s going on).

Unfortunately, the dangerous lunatics/idiots at wikileaks have failed to realise how the game is played in polite company (as is the wont of uninformed dangerous lunatics/idiots from outside the tent) and are revealing to the entire campsite that nobody really has a clue (except Kevin of course) possibly causing worldwide panic, even though we all knew that already.