first published in The Australian 26/8/09
This one went with a letter in the Higher Ed section of the Oz yesterday. Just a little cartoon tip, the trick for getting away with a willy joke is to take it upmarket and toss in (so to speak) a bit of mathematics and replace “willy” with “phallus”. Those ancient Greeks and their phalluses…
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I was kicking around an idea for a pocket cartoon last year when binge drinking was said to be four standard drinks. I do like the occasional beverage and in my crazy hedonistic youth, four beers of an evening wasn’t an entirely unheard of event. I’m all for responsible consumption of alcohol , but the day four beers is a binge is the day the wowsers have won.
Sadly, the story got bumped off the front, so in the spirit of recycling I stuck it up on Redbubble as a t-shirt. So far, it’s outsold everything else by miles, with most sales going to the UK. Bloody pissheads.
It’s that time of year again – the days are getting longer, the blossom’s on the tree, the birds are singing, and it’s time to enter the Walkleys.
There’s nothing more depressing than picking your favourite cartoon out of the year’s offerings. As most people who know a cartoonist is well aware, we’re all neurotic needy types who require constant love, attention and praise to stave off a constantly threatening spectacular tailspin into the deepest pit of misery and depression.
Anyway, stiff upper lip and all that, I’ve flicked through the year’s work and am feeling the usual waves of inadequacy and self-loathing this entails, so I’m enlisting your help. I’ve narrowed it down to a short list of 16 and if you feel like casting an eye over them and picking a favourite and telling me why (comment below, or email if you’re shy), that would be much appreciated. If you hate ’em all, feel free to keep it to yourself.
The ETS Explained
The Language Barrier
Free Icecream
Revolutionary Spin
Kevvie McKenzie
Parting The Red Ink
A Very Labor Budget
Temporary Surplus
Culinary Emergency
Not As Scary As They Used To Be
The Perfect Shitstorm
Peace In Our Time
Where Money Goes
Overshake
Costello Reduction Scheme
Leave Early
First published in The Hobart Mercury 18/8/09
Tasmanian Premier David Bartlett’s early metaphorical outing involved drawing various lines in the sand between himself and some rather troubling legacies from the previous incumbent. This seems particularly appropriate in Mr Bartlett’s case as lines in the sand are somewhat prone to being scuffed out, washed away or simply stepped over like they were never there.
A recent foray to the sandpit has been required on the issue of the likelihood of a hung parliament. The standard line on minority government in Tasmania tends to be a scare campaign on the grounds of instability. Sadly, the current majority government has displayed all the stability of a One Legged Alcoholics Bouncy Castle Convention at three in the morning, so this argument has been somewhat undermined.
This has led to David making three unequivocal mutually contradictory statements on the matter leading to the creation of the Bartlett Triangle. Lucky he stopped at three, I hate to think what a pentagram might have summoned.
Let me come out and say it: I DON’T BELIEVE IN ANTHROPOGENIC CLIMATE CHANGE.
Now before you break out the pitchforks (best dispense with the flaming torches though) I’d like to point out that when I’m thinking about crossing the road, even though I don’t explicitly believe there’s a car coming, I still tend to take a peek before stepping out, so while I don’t believe in the religious sense that human carbon emissions can definitely change the climate of the planet in a minutely predictable manner, on the evidence presented it’s quite likely something’s going on and considering the rather catastrophic potential consequences, I’m not averse to taking a few precautions.
In fact, while I really hope we can do whatever we like as a species without any consequences, on a scale of plausibility climate change is coming in a hell of a lot higher than, for example, Jesus saving us all in the event we do completely bollix up the world (I’m just saying).
Now I’m as sceptical as the next idiot, can’t get enough of it in fact, however, it is quite important not to mistake scepticism for wishful thinking or simple pig-headedness. So if you want to be a sceptic about climate change, then you bloody well BE a sceptic, just remember to cast a similarly jaundiced eye over climate research sponsored by the fossil fuel industry while you’re at it.