The Australian 6 May 2011

The White House has decided not to release photos of the body of bin Laden on the grounds that it would be provocative, though some might say that in the provocation stakes the horse has already bolted, been shot by Navy SEALs and buried at sea in the traditional Muslim fashion.

Let’s face it, if you weren’t inclined to believe bin Laden is dead without photographic proof, you probably weren’t going to believe the photos haven’t paid a visit to Dr Photoshop anyway.

If you do want something to stick on your fridge next to your picture of Wills and Kate having a royal snog, feel free to cut and paste whichever version of events you’re most comfortable with, especially if you need to discreetly cover up the gory bits.

Have fun, and be careful with the scissors.

The Australian 5 May 2011

After all that, it turns out bin Laden wasn’t hiding in some cave where beyond even the reach of Google Earth, but was in fact living just down the road from Islamabad. In a garrison town. And nobody noticed.

Awkward.

The Australian 4 May 2011

…or something to that effect.

The US government’s given the conspiracy mill a bloody good start by providing a choice of he was armed/he was unarmed/he looked at me funny/used his wife as a human shield/okay maybe he didn’t use his wife as a human shield options, not to mention playing the burial at sea card which was frankly top-notch stuff.

It’s hardly their fault, nobody was going to believe what they said anyway, so good on them for keeping it relatively simple.

My recommendation is to get the internet put on in your bunker, believe the six truthiest impossible things that occur to you before breakfast and get to work sharing them with the rest of the world. If you need me, I’ll be out back digging myself a media room.