You can’t eat coal either

The Australian 29 June 2011

You’d think if somebody were to say “Hey, let’s turn this prime agricultural land in your continent which is particularly vulnerable to climate change and is already a bit light on for agricultural land into a coal mine!” obviously the response would be “N0” possibly with “you grossly irresponsible halfwit” appended just to make it clear that it is a self-evidently insane thing to do on at least two immediately apparent levels. You’d think.

 

 

Just as long as you weren’t drinking red wine with that seafood…

The Hobart Mercury 28 June 2011

To err is human, and good on Bryan Green for proving just how human he is. Again.

Fortunately our divine premier has forgiven the former chairman of Tasmania’s Road Safety Council for what was indeed a relatively minor transgression in the scheme of things, though I was a little disappointed she didn’t mention that he was only a minuscule bit over the limit.

Jesus turned my water into whisky

The Sunday Telegraph 26 June 2011

Sometimes the devil sends whisky to lead us into temptation. Then he makes it a double, then he just keeps them coming until you’re completely full of the holy spirit and drive into a parked car with a blood alcohol reading of .206.

But lo! and possibly verily! US evangelist Jason Hooper and faith healer got off without a fine or jail, which proves that miracles do happen. No doubt he’ll be laying hands on the car he crashed into later on, saving a fortune at the panel beater.