…well that’s what happens when you piss on the bible and set it on fire, my angry young friend. That’s divine retribution, that is.

I don’t know what they’re teaching in schools these days. The first thing they taught us in Outdoor Ed in my day was to avoid urinating on your sacred text at all costs or you’d be rubbing two sticks together all night trying to get the bloody campfire started. Good on them for getting it going, I say.

I blame all this postmodernism myself. Taking a wee on the novel of your choice and setting it on fire is entirely consistent with modern literary theory and the kiddies were probably just finishing off their English homework.

Last time I played Trivial Pursuit, the Bible was the most-published book in the world, so in the grand scheme of things there are plently left that aren’t at all soggy. Honestly, if taking a slash on the Good Book was the vilest act perpetrated during an entire school camping trip, those kids should be bloody ashamed of themselves. Taking away their library cards might not be a bad idea, but expelling the incontinent little tykes seems a bit Biblical in the punishment stakes.

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

Day 7

Day 8

Mogress – uninspiring.

I’ve made a belated start at participating in Movember – which basically involves growing a dodgy mo to promote sick bloke issues.

The money raised by Movember will be used to change the face of men’s health by creating awareness and funding research into prostate cancer and male depression.

I’ve shaved off my usual dodgy beard and will do my best to look like a seventies test cricketer by the end of the month. I’m dedicating my nascent beer-strainer to Pip Agnew, who finally called it a draw with prostate cancer earlier this year after giving it a damn good kicking over quite a few years. A better bloke you wouldn’t meet and he had the grace, taste and style to never grow a mo himself, so I’ll do it for him.

If you want to sling a bit of money towards a good cause, go to http://www.movember.com/au/sponsor, enter my Rego number which is 44215 and your credit card details. All donations of $2 and over are tax deductible.

If you want to make a late start yourself, go to http://www.movember.com/ and sign yourself up.

There have been a few requests for a printable file of this Steve Irwin cartoon, so here ya go. Bewdy. Personal use only, if you want to use it in your publication, get in touch.

printable croc cartoon