It turns out that the 136 unaccompanied minors we’re locking up for an indefinite period in Brighton (yes we are actually doing this to 13-17 year olds, presumably for their own good, it’s hard to tell) are getting bored with life.
The suggestion has been made that if we must lock up unaccompanied 13-17 year olds (and apparently this is the way to go because it didn’t happen by accident but is in fact government policy, though as stipulated recently by the PM, it is not a progressive government) then maybe a bit of sport might alleviate the misery of being an unaccompanied teenager locked up indefinitely for not actually doing anything illegal. Anyway, here are some suggestions for a few sports.
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No player should be allowed to walk onto the field without applying at the (non existent) official’s tent first